Staying positive

HannahPoley
I wrote this poem a while back (10-11 months) after we had been TTC for 10 months.  I was so discouraged but writing this really helped.  I am 3-8 days late, my period fluctuates but normally not quite this much, I've also been feeling funny although it could be other things.  Taking a text in the morning and trying to stay positive but not excited...
Positive
written by H.M. Poley
Hope (dissolved) to peeing on a stick.
One day late, maybe.
Two days, for sure.
It must be this time, It must be this month.
Open the wrapper.
Scan the directions, as if the words
you memorized
may have changed.  You just need to see
in writing, black and white, how long
 you have to wait.  How long has it been?
You try not to look. 
1 minute.
“This is stupid, nothing is different.  You feel
just the same
as always,
as last month.  There won’t be 
anything positive.”
2 minutes
“Maybe this time, I mean, I was 3 days late 
after all.  I think, maybe,
I should count again.”
3 minutes
Time.
deep breath.
Turn it over.
Hope (dissolves)
Negative.
Maybe…Maybe
Next Month.
Maybe...Maybe
Never.