Am I dumb?

Question

So I have a 4 year old son. His father unfortunately is a dead beat and doesn't do anything for him at all. I've been dating my boyfriend since my child was 3. My mom and sisters call me a dummy for letting a man in my life who doesn't help out with my son financially. I told my mom that it isn't his responsibility nor do I expect anything from him. We are only boyfriend and girlfriend, not husband and wife!! Now if we marry then I expect a little more from him! Overall he respects my son, treats him well, and interacts with him but not full force like a father should. Am I dumb for allowing him to be around because he doesn't take on that father role FULLY?  And mind you, if I did ask him for money for anything concerning my child, if he has it he'll give it but I don't ask because he has kids himself!! And I respect that. In all honesty, I'm letting my son and boyfriend build their own bond. I'm not forcing something on someone. Hope this makes sense

Answer

I have a 5year old(will be 6 next month), my husband come into my sons life at 1 year old, and he's been hands on deck since day one, he also helped out, and he still does. He bought my son diapers when I needed a bit of help. He says it's not just my son, it's our son, and he wouldn't change that for the world.

Answer

How long have you been with your boyfriend and are you living together? Does your mom expect you to be responsible for his kids as well? I don't think you're being dumb, it seems like you're taking things one day at a time.

Answer

You've only been together for a year and, like you said, he's your bf - not husband (or equivalent). Not yet anyway 😉
You're right. It's not his responsibility. The same way it's not yours to support his children. 
Those things should come naturally and in time. 
We're in the XXI century. We don't need a man to provide for us and that shouldn't be a prerequisite for a relationship. That said, it's important that you know you can rely on him IF needed be - that's what a partner is for.

Answer

No I don't thknk you are dumb. It sounds like you are cautious, so that's good. I guess in the future when it comes time to get more serious you'll just have to make sure he's what you need in a husband/father figure for your child.

Answer

Personally, I would want someone who is all hands on deck, 100% for me and my child. If I wasn't serious enough to expect that, then I wouldn't consider it serious enough for him to be around my child. However, this is simply my opinion. If you are happy and your child is taken care of, that's all that matters.

Am I dumb?

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