Its gone😞😭😡

I lost my little one today, what was suppose to be such an exciting day (first chance to see my little one) turned into a nightmare. I had been spotting since Monday SPOTTING I didn't even need a pad. I woke up this morning with bright blood And a few clots I did that once cramping went away went back to spotting and I thought maybe It was nothing and I was actually hopeful however that once was all it took my baby was gone they didn't see anything in there. my heart is breaking and I feel so empty like a failure after 2 years of praying an TTC just to realize I couldn't carry this baby to term. I'm beside myself crying off and on sometimes I have this clarity and peace about this and other times my heart is in my throat I'm not ready to give this baby up, the dream of holding this one it was right there in reach and just like that it's like it was never there.