June 2016 I moved 4 hours north to be with my boyfriend and have my baby. Well this was my first time moving away from home and to make matters worse I moved to the middle of nowhere, literally. Well I lasted until last week. I had my daughter in August and everything sucked and up until last week I thought I was fine until I started having panick attacks and a lot of anxiety. It was so bad that I stopped going to work, school, and no longer had the energy to take care of my daughter, I was always crying and my boyfriend had just started a new job so he couldn't take time off of work to help me but instead he would get upset because he didn't understand how I was feeling and he just wanted a break from taking care of the baby but mentally I felt detached, oh and I didn't even drive because of how anxious I felt. So I went to the doctors and they told me I have postpartum and gave me medication and well let's just say it wasn't a match for me and my boyfriend again got upset but the whole time I was going through this he continued to drink (he is an alcoholic) so I finally made the decision to come back home to my parents house so I can't get help because I had all my insurance stuff back at home and was already set up with everything. So he didn't take it well saying that I only wanted to go home to be with other guys and how I wanted to take our daughter away when I had told everyone I was only going to get help and would return. Well the entire week he continued to drink and text me mean things then on Friday he texted me this suicidal text and I forwarded to his family and again he was extremely intoxicated and he was acting irrational According to his mother. Well they took him to the ER and from there he was sent to the psychiatrist ward where he was evaluated and let go the next day. From the ward he'd call me saying he loved me and my daughter but again starting to call me selfish for leaving and now turned off his phone so I cannot communicate with him. And his mom is the one who belongs in the ward, she is literally crazy and was telling me how she's going to help her son and how it's my fault he drinks when he's been drinking years before I met him. Everything is pretty much everyone's fault but but hers. Also, since I was planning on returning I left some of mine and baby's things well she packed it all up and stored it and I understand so her son doesn't have to see our things but what bothers me is he made everything about himself. It turned into me leaving to get help to now all about my boyfriend and turning off his phone like I did something when I only left to get better and took my daughter because there was nobody to watch her up North. Now I feel horrible because he is ignoring me and I just want to go to sleep for a looong time but my daughter is here. It's like I can never do anything for myself or else it's about him and now I feel so bad. All I want to do is cry.