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dealing with a chemical

So I had my 3 bfp's at what According to glow was at 7 and 8dpo. I carried on testing, waiting eagerly for my lines to get stronger but they never did. They eventually turned completely negative. Af was then 2 days late and I started getting all excited again thinking I was still in with a chance then on the 3rd morning my oh came home from deployment, we had intercourse then when it was over I got up and realised I had been laying in a pool of blood when I should have been 4 weeks and 3 days along.

Now I know it was super early days, but I'm really struggling with my emotions about this all. Right now I just feel like I'm being stupid, like I have no right to be upset or to grieve as it was so early on.

My oh has been really supportive throughout I couldn't ask for anything more from him but I still find myself just shutting myself away from him to just have a good cry. Am I just being over dramatic about the whole situation? Oh keeps saying we can eventually try again etc but right now I don't even think I want to. I don't want to have to keep going through this.

In a weeks time it will be a year to the day that we lost another baby at 7 weeks.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

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