I wish someone had told me the way I’d feel inside

The indescribable joy and fear I’d feel when I found out you were alive

I wish someone had spoken of the doubts that filled my mind

When I wondered if I’d be a good mom or if it was okay to cry

I wish someone had told me that not everyone would have been happy

When I said I was pregnant some people were mad, honestly, some were pretty crappy

I wish someone had said to me that it was okay not to cry

When I saw you for the first time and all I could do was wave ‘hi’

I wish someone had told me your heartbeat was my saving grace

For I finally got a bean to stick and then the tears fell down my face 

I wish someone had told me that it wasn’t the same for all

That morning sickness could be a breeze on Monday and Tuesday then be awful

I wish someone had told me what it would feel like to feel you kick

How many weeks I wondered if the flutters were you or if gas was giving a tick

 I wish someone had told me how much it would hurt when you grew

And though pregnancy is miraculous, my body was becoming something new

I wish someone had told me the way I’d feel when the pounds packed on

And that it was okay for me to feel like I couldn’t run, or even walk, for a mile long

I wish someone had told me there were days where I’d feel sad

And days where I’d feel happy, and some when I’d feel really mad

And I wish someone had told me how much I could have loved

For I never realized how intense a feeling it was to love a son

And I wish someone had told me you’d keep me up all night

That I wouldn’t care, even at 5AM, because I know you’re worth the fight

I wish someone had told me how much I’d want to hold you

To see your face and hear you cry, and even clean up your poo

So for all the things they didn’t say, and what I had to learn on my own

I’ve never been more happy than I have been being your 9 month home.