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kind of hurt .

For the past couple months something has been off with my health , I've seen doctors and they would swab me for STD's , check me for pregnancy, and when it all came back negative they wouldn't do anything about it. For the past week I've been feeling really really sick and having cramps and the cramps got worse . I went to the doctor and he did a pelvic exam, swabbed me for stds and sent me for blood work, ultrasound ,

And urine test . Finally a doctor that was willing to actually take a look at my insides!! I'm pretty sure it's My kidneys because it hurts into my back and I have white tissue looking specks in my urine . But I was with my boyfriend tonight in my bed and I doubled over in pain and he said "sometimes I wonder if you are just giving yourself these symptoms and it's all in your head" that really hurt . I felt accused and as if he just doesn't believe me . He also said "when Your sick it gets between us" what the hell was that supposed to mean ? Like does he not feel the same when I'm sick and not my energetic goofy self ? We've had issues like this in the past where I was going through mental health stuff and he left me because I wasn't myself . Like is he incapable of loving me even when I feel sick or down?? Am I wrong for being offended and hurt ?. I ended up crying and he apologized but I can't help being sick ... he's always been the one that I go to when I'm sick and the person I talk to when I feel down and now

I don't even want to anymore because I'm scared it makes him feel differently .

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