So I'm on my second child. And it's different. I guess I don't care as much or feel as protective like with my first. I guess I feel lazier and more laid back about him. But my real trouble is my oldest. She acts out so so badly and sometimes I don't know how much I can take. It's come to the point that just hearing her cry or whine will make me furious and feel upset. Like I just can't take it or the sound and I swear there's no reasoning with her. She will be 4 this year. And I feel like I'm just absolutely failing as a parent with her. I feel so awful I cry. I feel like I've lost hope and I've ruined her. I've said mean things and haven't been so nice at times and I don't want to be this person. I don't want to feel this way. I don't have much patience anymore and I've become a work a holic to avoid all of this and avoid thinking. I have depression anyways but some days I feel out of control.