Can I, uhh, tell him I love him? (rant)

[Warning: long, and by just typing this out I think I've come to my own conclusion. Still felt like I should post it though, so, here ^^;]

This is /my/ first relationship, I'm 18 he's 21, we've known each other for the last three years, been dating since June, sleeping together since November.... (I'd kinda wanted to sort out whether I loved him or not before I lost my virginity but I got a little caught up in the moment whoops-)

I'm very loose with the term "I love you" with, well, basically everyone, but I've been very careful to not say it to him /because/ I say it so easily to everyone else. I don't it to not mean anything, you know? But then the issue is - how do I know I love him?

My mom once told me "you like him because, but you love him although." I don't find many "althoughs". Although he doesn't talk to me sometimes because he's busy, or because he's down and doesn't want to talk. Although he doesn't love himself. Although he becomes a little distant when we're in public (though I think it's partially my fault-). Although I haven't met his parents because he has an on and off relationship with them. But I don't??? Mind?????? Heck that's the point isn't it-

idk guys, all I know is this last month and a half my feelings for him have been growing exponentially and I can't take it.

((Jeez I'm crying))

I have a history of being emotionally cut off and faking things and I really just hope this is real

If/when I say it I'm not expecting him to say it back or anything, but part of me hopes that he's been just holding off on saying it bc he didn't want to scare me or smth (which has kinda been the theme: since he's my first, well, everything, he's been very patient and slow and asking permission before doing anything new..)

((hey, is it normal to cry bc you've been hit by the realization of just how much you love a person? heckkkkkkkkkk))

I wanna do it

I wanna tell him I love him

So, um, what would be the best way to do that? ^^;;;