Am I being silly over our sons name?

Question

My fiance wants our son to have his dad's middle name (and obviously also his surname-as it is the same as my partners!)

So the baby's name will be 2/3 his dad's name, whom I'm really not fond of.

I don't get along with his dad, he's a very cold man who doesn't speak to me whatsoever and is a known drug addict. I don't really want our son to have such a big part of his name identical to his.

I expressed my unwillingness to have this as his middle name and surname in the politest way possible and he said 'why not? It's a nice name'

He's right, it is, I just don't want him to be associated too much with his grandad, I wanted him to be more original.

Do I suck it up and just let it go (as it's only a middle name) ?

I love his first name, and am happy to have the surname as we're getting married soon that will be my name too.

Answer

My son's dad wanted to use his dad's name for our sons middle name too. I had no problem with the actual name, but his dad was a complete ass to me and created a ton of drama and used me as his scapegoat around the time of my pregnancy. I was so hurt I refused to let him use the name, I didn't want to be reminded of his dad every time I said my son's name. It did cause a huge argument but I held my ground and am glad I did. My son's dad got over it and moved on. I'm all for compromising but don't do it if it is something you truly don't want.

Answer

You should both agree on the name and he does have a say in it but you're doing the hard part of making this baby and will continue to do so all his life and that to me makes your day a little more important. My husband definitely had a say in the names we picked but he realized once I found a name I really liked and couldn't let go of there was a reason for it and as long as he liked it and agreed with it we were good.

Answer

If he really wants it I would personally my son has my fil name as middle name and you never really use it. Or have two middle names x

Answer

I think you need to express more about how it makes you feel. We aren't using my partners dads name cause that's his middle name (like wtf right) 
You both need to agree, it's not about "sucking it up" it's about compromise.

Answer

I hate my father in law because he's a huge asshole. I would NEVER use his name first or middle for my son EVER and I don't give a rats ass about how my man would feel about that. I happen to like the name Allen and have before I met this man, now I feel as if he ruined it having it for his middle name. Allen has been forever tainted since I met this man. 
There's my two cents. If you don't want to you shouldn't have to. Stand up for yourself and your baby. Do you want to be reminded of that man every time you say your sons name?? Think about that. Stand up for yourself.

Answer

I wouldn't want a not so nice FIL to ha e any part of my kids name either... You need to talk to him... Its not something to just suck up.

Answer

Yes, let it go if the name sounds alright.

Answer

We are using my FIL's name as a middle name for our son. He is dead and he was a very nice man and I was STILL kind of like, "but you already have the last name 😕..." I mean realistically, my father will not be alive for the majority of my son's life, either, plus my dad's first name is also my middle name. I ended up caving and am perfectly ok with it (you can't really argue with the dead dad card)  but if I didn't like my FIL and he was still alive, I would probably hold my ground.

Answer

If my husband and I had a boy his first name was suppose to be William it goes back generations in is family but they all go by their middle name. I said no way and we agreed that William would be his middle name and we would come up with our own first name. I don't think your being selfish. It's both of your child so it should be a 50/50 decision:) good luck

Answer

My mom wanted my middle name to be Florence but since she picked my first name my dad got to pick my middle name.

Am I being silly over our sons name?

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