Am I in a abusive relationship?(long)

We haven't had sex in four months to start out. Its all him I got to a point where I was begging for it. He would only use me for blowjobs and then dismiss me to a corner. If I spoke he would turn up the tv. I simply assumed he was tired because he had just added a lot of extra hours to his work weeks the past four months so I didn't think anything of it. Well yesterday I felt like a strong feminist and I asked if he was okay with me ranting about men (he's sensitive in the subject) and he said yes. So I ranted all the way home how I felt like nothing more than an object and how men tend to think they have rights over my body. Well he went on to say he did and I explained to him why he didn't and he got really silent. I went on to say how I wish i was a bit more respected by him and that I don't dictate what he does with his body as long as he doesn't stuff it with things that will damage his heart (he's a heart patient). He then all of a sudden switched the subject to basketball. He does that a lot. Whenever I'm saying my true feelings about anything or whenever I simply talk about my day or life in general he deflects it and changes the subject or simply turns up the tv. I stayed respectful and contributed to the conversation. He then stopped and yelled at me "you're pissed because i changed the subject aren't you. Its just like you to be an overdramatic bitch." I was surprised because i just dropped it and didnt really mind after a moment. I said that yeah it bothered me a little but I'm over it. I said is appreciate it if he respected me and my feelings more. I said if your heard any part of my rant (i knew he didnt) that he would know that's what I was ranting about. We had been walking around the neighbourhood as it was a nice day and he screams "you are such a bitch why aren't you telling me your feelings now!? You never talk to me!" I said I just did and that he doesn't get to pick and choose when he listens to me. I said the moment has passed and I don't feel like talking to someone who doesn't listen or care. I then put my hand on his arm and asked if we could drop this and just enjoy our walk. At this point dogs were walking and neighbors were looking. He pushes me back and says I'm a bitch and I need to fuck off and that I don't deserve the privilege of walking with him anymore. I then screamed that he was being sexist. He stopped in his tracks turned around and turned beet red. He came towards me and I said "touch me and I'll kick your ass until you're in the hospital" (he's scared of me because i practice karate Tao kwon doe and a special form of yoga along with boxing I've never hurt him before) he backs up and yells "fuck off you whore and don't bother coming home" I'm almost in tears and I head back to the house trudging behind him because i have the house keys and need to let him in. I let him in and he storms off upstairs. I sit in the car contemplating leaving for the night. We have an argument similar to this about once a week and he gets little temperamental outbursts a couple times a day too. He is super friendly to others (a bit racist but friendly) so no one believes me and thinks I've done something to warrant the behaviour. After an hour and a half of sitting in the car I go inside to a locked bedroom door. I know with no answer. I text him to let me in or I'm leaving and not coming back (i meant it) and he texts back "why would you want to be with a sexist obviously you hate me". I said let me in I mean it. He then talks about how I have no right to speak to him like that and that I need to lose my attitude. I didn't have an attitude. Well after some fighting and calmer communication he agrees to listen to my feelings and work on communication. We go to bed. Fast forward to tonight I ask if we could possibly have sex. I offered to ride him and he excitedly agreed. He asked for a blowjob and I declined and he was annoyed but invited me on top of him. Well during sex he kept spanking me so hard it was bruising. I had to yell at him to stop after multiple requests before. He growled but stopped and decided to cup it instead. I was enjoying it and orgasming but he kept watching tv obviously bored. I said that id appreciate it if he didn't watch tv while we were doing it. He sighed and kept doing it over and over. I finally asked if it was distracting and if we needed to pause the show. He yelled at me that it was my fault we were facing the tv and that I need to get off and shut up. I demanded he paused it and he immediately pushed off me and went for the remote but was cussing me with every word in the book to the point where I was completely turned off. I wasn't about to let our first time in four months be like this. I said I no longer wanted to do it because he was obviously in a bad mood and until he learned to respect me he has no rights to my body. He said quit bitching your body is mine and begin growling like an animal and pushed me down spreading my legs. I fought him hard and flipped him off of me and I said stop touching me and go to bed. I almost screamed "I hate you" but I stopped myself because i don't. I love him so much. He rolled over mumbling and tried to sleep. He then tried to cuddle me like everything was alright and i said not to touch me. Now im in the bathroom because he kept mumbling about me. This isn't the first attempted rape either. He raped me twice on our anniversary in the ass. I was screaming for help and he didn't stop. He raped me on my birthday because he was mad he forgot my present at home so he said his cock was going to be my present. I declined and he pinned me down and forced it until I cried. He then raped my ass again one day as a punishment. I told him if he ever did it again id press charges and it had been two years since the rapes. Well here he is again violent as ever. When we were dating and when we met he was so gentle and sweet. He is still very gentle and sweet most of the time. I feel as if im backed into a corner. I have no job no family no women's shelters no money no friends no anything and I may be pregnant. I don't want to leave him but I wonder if I have a choice. He's becoming abusive again at least I think so. Why does he get like this? What is this? What should i do? Please help me.

We've been together for 3 years and I'm not scared of him. I just feel alone. I have no family no shelter in a 30-50 mole radius and no resources. I've called the cops once and they told me that when you're married it isn't rape. I'm trapped and I love him so much I'm finding it hard to leave. Yeah I know it's stupid but until you are in the situation you can't understand what I'm feeling. He really does love me his temper though is what makes him like this.