Is what I want just a fairytale love story from movies? Too much to ask/want?

Question

I'm 35 and I'be never had a real relationship, but every guy I've ever been involved with always tells me "I'll always love her" (meaning his ex). I just broke it off with a longtime friend who I spontaneously developed feelings for after 20 years (amicable "breakup"; we're still friends, but he did a couple things that hurt me while he was still drinking. **Also, Quick backstory on him: He's a recovering alcoholic, went to rehab, and has been sober for 4 months.**). 
Before he went to rehab we talked about a future between us, (he doesn't remember our talk because of the alcohol) but he was still texting a girl (ahem....a whore who was using him) while I was lying in bed next to him- no joke- but he did break it off with this one. 
I don't know how to even let that go whether or not he remembers our "could there be something between us" conversation before he went to rehab. 
More so, even after he got out of rehab, he contends that he "will always love" a different girl with whom he was involved for approx 4 years and this one cheated on him constantly. I'm mean this one even texted my brother one night-in front of him- that she would s**k his d**k (my brother's) if he could get her some kind of pills. My brother of course refused and even SHOWED my "ex"/longtime friend the texts, and to this day he will not admit that it happened. I mean, even other friends and my own mother saw this girl's texts. (FYI, the guy I'm talking about has been not only my friend, but a family friend for these past 20 years) 
Anyway, to wrap it up, this is the girl that he "will always love", and I just don't understand how he could love her considering all the times she hurt him. (The preceding story was just the tip of the iceberg as to how badly she treated him and was always cheating on him.)
She had some other guy help her pack up her stuff and leave him a few years ago, but he will just not let go of this idea that he will always love her. 
How would any of you girls out there feel about this? How do you feel when someone you're seeing tells you that he will always love his ex? Am I living in a fairytale? At my age is there possibly anyone out there who would only have feelings for me and not make me feel like second-best? Or is that just a pipe dream? Is this something that I'm just going to have to learn how to deal with from here on out when I meet someone? It really hurts to think that this would be the scenario that I'm looking at for the rest of my life.

Answer

From what I read  and pls don't get offended because it's actually constructive criticism, I think you make yourself too available. You might be coming off a little "future worried" and you are looking for a way out meaning find someone to start something serious with. Instead of waiting around why don't you go out on dates and have some fun. Also being an addict won't give you the fairy tale you are looking for. My father was an alcoholic. On the beginning he was harmless but then he started beating my mom. For 15 yrs she stayed with him and took the abuse. Just think before you make a decision. Pray for the one to come. He is coming, he just lost his way a little and is too stubborn to ask for directions 😆🤗. Don't give up and dont just settle. Live life and love will find you. I guarantee you. Good luck

Answer

I'm not sure how self aware you are or how easily offended you get or if you're open to constructive criticism, but I'm going to say this, your post made you seem a little dramatic and immature. You're talking about this ex/friend alcoholic and some texts some girl sent someone about someone else and blah blah blah. It's a little dramatic and toxic if you ask me. If you address that with yourself you will attract an actual adult who will care for only you. But you gotta get yourself together and cut out all the drama and bullshit first. Good luck!

Answer

Don't date projects.  Guys with problems like that are alot of work and not worth it. I'm 42, have had some good and bad relationships and been in love more than once. My SO was married and was in love with her. It went sour. The past is the past and you move on. At this age you acknowledge why it didn't work and you seek attributes in a person that you respect.  So yes and no to your question. It is possible to fall in love at this age and no, you don't forget your previous loves. You don't need to be the first and only love but the guys you're talking about sound broken and not ready for a new love yet.

Answer

Nope. I wouldn't marry someone who is so new in their sobriety. Especially if they still love an awful ex.

Answer

I'm sorry, he doesn't seem that into you. If I was dating somebody who told me they'd always love somebody else, I'd be done. Gone. Don't care how old I am, that shit just won't fly. Why would he say that to somebody he wanted to impress & keep around? Don't wait around to be his second choice, or whatever he considers this, go find somebody who adores you. Or at least go have some fun dates trying to find that adoring guy. He's out there, you are not too old, you do not need to settle.

Answer

Why would you wait for someone whose going to put you through hell for the rest of your life? Theres a fairytale out there, but youre looking in the wrong place, work on yourself, love yourself more, stop being friends with this guy that doesnt know his ass from his toes, who will always hurt YOU, yet here you are as he is for that other chick. Go love yourself, and then go find yourself a real man to cherish you, you are worth way more, leave this guy, put a stop to your pain, and move on.

Is what I want just a fairytale love story from movies? Too much to ask/want?

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