Anyone else emotionally numb?
I know this may sound rediculous. You may not even believe that such a thing can happen but it's real and it's happening to me. I have lost my ability to feel emotions. After the birth of my son 10 weeks ago, I went through so much emotional trauma. I've struggled with depression and anxiety and panic attacks for years. Idk what happened but last thing i remember feeling was panic and fear after a nightmare I had about my fiance. I can't really even remember the dream all that much except that I was in pain emotionally to the point where it physically hurt, like my chest and heart ached. And all he did was laugh. This was in the dream. And I woke up in a panic bc the dream felt so real. Everything was like my life is now. So when I woke up I didn't even realize I was awake for a minute. Then idk what happened but it's like my brain shut down the part that controls emotions. I can't feel anything. Sometimes I feel physically numb as well. I just Don't care about anything. My fiance says I love you and I know I love him but I don't feel the love. I don't feel the connection. I don't want anything to do with my kids. 6 year old and 10 week old. I know this isn't good. I'm smart enough to know that if I don't seek help it'll only get worse. I read up on this symptom of depression and I know I'm not the only one out there. I know there's a possibility that if I open myself back up that all the feelings and emotions will come flooding back and I might end up hurting myself. That's a scary thought to know that it's a possibility. But what psychiatrists do is help you open up little by little so you don't open the gates too far and let it all out at once. I'm walking around in a fog, I don't feel like I'm living in reality. Idk if it's my meds. I'm on 100 mg of zoloft. Basically having a baby ruined me. I know I love that baby and I would never wish him harm or that I never had him. But right now I know that having him has led this to happen and my brain is all messed up. Is this happening to anyone else? Or has this happened to someone you know? I have a psychiatrist appt on Tuesday but I really don't want to wait that long. What do I do? Who do I turn to??
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