Need reality check

Sam • 😍Mom to 3 fur babies 🐕🐕🐈 and 👧🏼 8/15/19 and 🧒🏼 1/10/21
Ok ladies, I'm doing that thing. That thing where I obsess and critique every twinge and symptom. Here's an outline of the last 13 days. My period is set to start tomorrow but if I did implant at all I think it was Saturday (2 days ago). Is it possible I have a chance at this being the beginning of a pregnancy or do I need a heavy dose of reality with my coffee this morning? Please share your thoughts and stories, success or failure. 
Ovulation day Tuesday, Jan 31 - back pain, cramps on one side of abdomen, insane sex drive, gassy
1DPO Wednesday, Feb 1 - bloating!!, fat rolls in back very noticeable 😂, sex drive gone, light pain on right side around 2pm
2DPO Thursday, Feb 2 - bloating, light pain on left side around 11am. Sticky CM but light. Only noticeable when checking cervix. 
3DPO Friday, Feb 3 - slept 10 hours last night. Still groggy, feels like I've been punched in the hoo-ha. Gassy, Nausea, slightly dizzy. Headache  
4DPO Saturday, Feb 4 - Just gassy
5DPO Sunday, Feb 5 - Gassy, dull abdominal pain.  Slight red spotting in EWCM only once today. 
6DPO Monday, Feb 6- Headache , neck pain. Shaky. Took Advil. Not very responsive. 
7DPO Tuesday, Feb 7- sharp pain in left lower abdomen, headache, neck pain. BFN, nausea, shaky. Headache gets better with food, comes back when hungry. 
8-9 DPO Wed, Feb 8 - Thurs, Feb 9 - ATE. ALL. DAY. LONG. BFN, Temp starting to decline. 
10 DPO Fri, Feb 10 - had 1.5 drinks last night. Had to stop drinking because started getting a headache. Slightly hungover and throat is sore today. Breast aren't sore like they normally would be. Nips looked purple this morning but back to pink/red after shower. Back hurts a little. BFN. 6pm feel wet and like my period is going to start any minute. Strange cramps?
11DPO Sat, Feb 11 - sore throat still , no other symptoms. BFN . Only at 4:15pm had pink creamy cm (IB?). No cramps.
12DPO Sun, Feb 12 - throat starting to get better, temp rise by .31 degrees F. 'Pinching' in my abdomen. BFN. Keep feeling like period is going to start any minute. 
13DPO Mon, Feb 13 - significant temp dip, but slept with mouth open due to sinus congestion. Pink spotting post morning nookie then stopped. Light cramping off and on. BFN still. 😭