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I'm so over life

I'm 25 in June, and I have been in an abusive relationship for 4 years.. it is very hard to leave.. I have tried.

I always get scared to tell my girlfriend if my friends or whatever ask me to go out.. cause she always saids no.

She cheated and lied a lot in our relationship and when I tried to leave her wouldn't let me .. she would bombard my phone and call my family and friends.

She has a going away party for her friend this weekend and she didn't even tell me cause she doesn't want me to come ( she's very secretive sometimes ) so I have the worst anxiety as I don't trust her.. but I thought fuck it I'll go out with my friend , and I'm so scared to tell her.

She treats me like shit. Al weekend she was so horrible to me, well 4 years she has been. But we had a fight and she got physical, so I had a few bruises on me.

My anxiety is that bad I legit feel so sick :(

All I want is to meet a guy who treats me nice! When I was 19 my boyfriend and me broke up, so then I went to girls, and ever since then I have been stuck with this one.

But I just want to settle down and have kids with a guy.

I'm not getting any younger and she's only 22!

What do you think i should do?

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