I'm so over life

I'm 25 in June, and I have been in an abusive relationship for 4 years.. it is very hard to leave.. I have tried.
I always get scared to tell my girlfriend if my friends or whatever ask me to go out.. cause she always saids no.
She cheated and lied a lot in our relationship and when I tried to leave her wouldn't let me .. she would bombard my phone and call my family and friends.
She has a going away party for her friend this weekend and she didn't even tell me cause she doesn't want me to come ( she's very secretive sometimes ) so I have the worst anxiety as I don't trust her.. but I thought fuck it I'll go out with my friend , and I'm so scared to tell her.
She treats me like shit. Al weekend she was so horrible to me, well 4 years she has been. But we had a fight and she got physical, so I had a few bruises on me.
My anxiety is that bad I legit feel so sick :( 
All I want is to meet a guy who treats me nice! When I was 19 my boyfriend and me broke up, so then I went to girls, and ever since then I have been stuck with this one. 
But I just want to settle down and have kids with a guy. 
I'm not getting any younger and she's only 22! 
What do you think i should do?