it's going to be long!!

 1) my husband and I met when we were 13/14 years old. We've been together for 9 years  (in 11 days would have made 10 years) we got married 5 years ago (would have been 6 years ago on 3/9/17). 

 2) we found I was pregnant in January 2012 but I lost the baby at 6 weeks and 5 days in February of 2012. I was so heartbroken. He didn't look it but I know that he was hurting just as much.

 3) tons happened while I was pregnant. I found that my husband was getting nude photos from other girls and he as well as the women were talking dirty to each other. After I lost the baby I didn't know what to do. This guy named Jacob messaged me and was being so kind and listening basically there for me emotionally. My husband was still talking to these girls. Jacob and I became good friends. We had been talking for a year and one day he asked me to send him pictures and I did. I know I know it was so stupid of me and If I could take it back I would. My husband was sending nudes to the people he was talking to as well. Well my husband found out and messaged Jacob and told him to stop talking to me and and he did. Well Jacob and I would talk off and on up until 1.5 to 2 years ago. I never said anything to the women he was talking to. Should have but I didn't. BTW he thinks I cheated on him but I would NEVER do that. I know how it feels and it sucks. I would never put someone through so much pain. 

 4) in May/June of 2013 I found out my husband cheated on me. He was in jail when I found out. We were living with his grandpa at the time because our house would fill up with smoke and I couldn't breathe so we stayed at his grandparents. The women he cheated with had a boyfriend and we were trying to be friends with them. We would go play tennis and all that. One day I went to our house to get some movies to let his aunt borrow and I went into our rooms and I seen a pink shirt laying there. I didn't own anything pink. Well I messaged her and she didn't say anything other than she wanted her shirt back. ( I still have it to this day)  He called one day and I said "I have a question why was Danielle's shirt in our room?" "Did you cheat on me?" At first he tried to play it off but finally told the truth. BTW he cheated on my while I was visiting my mom and sisters and my brother was partying with him that night!!! 

 5) I (tried) to forgive and forget but I don't think that I will be able to anyways everything cools off we move and everything is fine. Since we were 18 he always talked to this girl named Mackenzie but I didn't mind because I always look at her messages and she never sent him nudes ingored him when he would try and talk dirty to her and told him she had a boyfriend so I thought she was safe for him to talk to. He ends up going to rehab and while he was in there him and I get into a fight. I told him If he really wanted our relationship to work he Needed to tell me the truth. I said "how many times have you cheated on me?" He said "two". I was SHOCKED!! He cheated with my FAMILY MEMBER (who no longer speaks to me) and deneille. He gets out and we moved back to our old house.

 6) Again everything was good and going well. 2/3 months go by and nothing. One day we were on our way to a funeral and he was paying for gas and I all of a sudden got a feeling I needed to check his phone. I open his phone and there's a text from a girl Diana. She told him that she loved him and sent him nudes. He wasn't sending any back though. Well he wanted to know why I went through his phone and I didn't think I needed to explain myself so I didn't say anything. I asked him to stop getting nudes and to stop talking to her he said ok. A month goes by and he leaves his phone at home because he went to check on his grandpa so I check it and guess who I see him talking too!!! That's right Diana and they are telling each other that they love each other and when she would ask when they could hang out he always said that he was busy. He finally stopped talking to her because he seen she was legit crazy.

This past December he went completely nuts I couldn't tell you what happened because I was visiting faking but I couldn't get ahold of him for a day and he finally texted me and told me he couldn't talk on the phone and he got mad at me and told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore and everything. We made up. In January I had to work one weekend so I spent the night with my sister because we work at the same place. Well that following Monday at like 7am I get a message from my husband say that I'm not the same person I used to be and that he can't stand me and that he tried to stay and see if we could work things out. Well that was 3 weeks ago yesterday and we're not together. I was running out of clothes so I told him that I needed to stay with him one night so I can wash clothes and he said it was find. Well I stay with Gina and he fell asleep. I was going my laundry and his phone kept buzzing  so I look at it it was a text from Mackenzie asking him for rent money! ( he never gave me money he always went and bought whatever it was that I wanted) and to pay for HER kids birthday party! I look more and he told her that she was prettier than me and told her that we started having problems after I lost the baby (even thought it was before).I was PISSED!!! I texted my sister and told her everything that I seen. And I acted like I didn't seen anything and he said something to me the next day so I told him and he was mad at me and said I had no right going through this phone. ( I pay his phone bill) I told him that I may not but he has no right telling her anything about me. Also she was sending him nudes and he was sending her some too! 

He was stealing money from me and he would get mad if I told him no. One of the other reasons he ended it is because he wants sex all time and I dont. But I was trying to do things that he like and  not going to lie I really do t like sex. I like foreplay and the beginning of sex but after a minute I don't like it. 

Sorry I know it's supper long but I just had to express myself and I'm not an angel in this because I done something that hurt him. There's more stuff that's happened in our relationship but I'd be here forever if I told everything!  

                         Thank you!!! ❤️❤️