The two week wait can go straight to hell 😩😂 (VENT)

Hi ladies, 

First let me preface this by saying I really just need to vent. I have no one to talk to about this and just need to get it out there before it eats me alive. This month is the first month my husband and I have been actively TTC. I miscarried in September at 8 weeks, but the thing is..that pregnancy was a complete surprise, a fluke. I had only been off the pill for a month (after 10 years of being on it), and my hubby and I - in the midst of buying our first home, moving, and hosting lots of family and friends in said new home - only did the deed once that entire month, on the 22nd day of my cycle. pregnancy wasn't even on my radar that month until my boobs started to hurt and my period was late. So here we are, almost 6 months later. After the M/C it took 3 months for my hormone levels to go down and for my period to finally get back on a normal schedule, and then I wanted to give my body a couple "normal cycles" before even trying again. I haven't been tracking my bbt or my CM, but I've been using the app to track my period and ovulation. Hubby and I BD'd twice during my "fertile window" this month (according to the app). 

And now..I'm going crazy. I've been hyper aware of every little twinge or ache in my body, but don't want to trust too much in anything. I've felt nauseous/uneasy at different points of the day every day since we BD'd, and my emotions have been out of control (my husband is an actual saint for dealing with my mood swings) - but I don't want to make too much of it. My period is due in 3 days and it's taking every single thing in me not to take an early test. So, for all you ladies who are stuck in this limbo, I'm with you, and I wish you the biggest & brightest positive in the days to come!! 💗

*end rant*