I feel really depressed, I feel like I failed.
My baby was born 9 days ago. I already posted about missing the feeling of being pregnant. I want so badly to feel the anticipation, little kicks, and wonder again. Part of me is sad that I can never experience being pregnant for the first time EVER again. I also miss going to my OBGYN, call me a weirdo. Additionally, my sweet baby has been losing weight like crazy. She was born at 6 lbs 12 oz. We were discharged and she weighed 6 lbs 4 oz. At her first check up, she weighed 6 lbs. They took blood to check for dehydration, and found her to be fine, but we needed to do a weight check, so three days later (today) we found that she now weighs about 5 lbs 14 oz. I so badly wanted to EBF. I tried my beat, and it ended up hurting her. I feel like I'm barely producing anything. My doctor said to make sure that I supplement with formula if she wasn't making it to her next two hour feeding. Well, she made it about 20 minutes feeding off both breasts. I pump, and I get about .1 oz per breast. I am not kidding. How can I have such little milk? I feel like I didn't do what was best for her, and because of me, she lost nearly a whole pound. I am taking Fenugreek, and I am now trying to pump to pick up my supply. Do you think it will work? :( Am I a bad mom? I don't know what I am doing. Thanks for listening.
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