what to do when puppy love goes away

Question

So me and my boyfriend have been together since I was 14 and he was 15. I'm 18 and he's 19 now. We've lived together for about a year now and we're pretty much married without the papers lol 
I've really noticed that he doesn't treat me like I'm special anymore. We barely have sex, he doesn't ever compliment me, he doesn't listen to me. I have depression and anxiety and everytime i have an spurt of it, he gets sooo mad and yells at me. He doesn't appreciate anything I do for him and insists that I tell him how thankful I am for him. He always accuses me of cheating and brings up stuff from before we dated. (I was 14). He thinks that he just has to buy me stuff and that I'll be okay. But I want our emotional connection back. 
Breaking up is the LAST thing I want to do but I've just given up hope in our relationship. I know we'll never get the puppy love back but I feel like we're just roommates. 
*Note* I've talked to him. He just gets mad at me and tells me that is my fault and that I'm the one who's being a bad girlfriend.
What do I do?

Answer

Listen, honey, you are soooo young. I know it's super difficult to see it when you're in it but please consider moving on. I am against any type of abuse in a relationship. You don't have to have your head bashed against a wall to be broken down by someone. It is very unhealthy what you are describing. Years ago I dated a guy for five years. My anxiety popped up for the first time in my life. He was overbearing and would say awful things. I loved him and forgived him every time. Then one day I realized that my life would end up better even if I spent it alone. That showed me that there was more. It hurt for a while and I thought I'd never get over it. BUT YOU DO. Things are better than I've ever imagined and you can have that too. Just reconsider the path you're on and do what may not be comfortable but is right for you. Good luck!

Answer

I think this is about a lot more than just puppy love, to be honest. He's always accusing you of cheating? Says you're a bad girlfriend?

I know you've been together for a long time, and I know how that goes. I was 15, when I met my ex and I honestly thought we'd be together forever, but then his true colors started showing and I realized how manipulative he'd become, and how controlling he was.

People are right, you're so young and I just think that you've been with him for so long and you've obviously devoted the best years of your life to him and for what? For him to act like you're the reason everything is falling apart, when he's flat out refusing to meet you half way. There's not a whole lot you can do sweetie if it's all one sided.

The best decision I ever made was to take myself out of a very miserable and troubling situation. I chose to move on and I'm so grateful I did! You owe it to yourself to stop wasting your time on someone who refuses to waste his time on you and put forth the effort needed to make this relationship work.

Answer

Honestly I think you should break up with him. I broke up with a guy like that when i was 21 and it was the best decision of my life. Now I'm 29 and married to an amazing guy. I wouldn't have been able to get my degree, move to my current city, meet my husband or buy my house if I had stayed with the other guy who took me for granted.

Answer

People grow apart.  Who you are at 14 isn't who you are at 19 and won't be who you are at 40.  Either work through it with a councilor or understands it's ok to break up

Answer

Sounds like you might need some couples therapy. You might need to take some time apart. He needs to see that you do a lot for him and he won't ever see that unless he doesn't have it anymore. And if he doesn't come back to you and realize how horribly he's treated you, he isn't worth it anyway.

Answer

I'd hate to say it but maybe this relationship has run its course. And if he's bringing up stuff from the past constantly or accusing you of cheating it will eventually drive you away. Talk to him then take some time and really think about where you want your future to go and if you see him in it. Good luck.

Answer

Just try and talk to him, I've been with my fiancé for almost 5 years  (I'm 22) and we have our rough patches too. But if you want it to work then it will, you just have to try be more understanding of one another and put the effort in to rekindle the romance. Good luck.

Answer

Talk to him about it

what to do when puppy love goes away

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