Worried sick, beginning to get desperate...

I'm going on 33 weeks in a high risk pregnancy. Baby has a 2 vessel cord so doctor knew there could be issues from the beginning.. 3 weeks ago doctor noticed baby's weight was a week behind but belly measuring 2 weeks behind which flagged a placenta concern for him.. they switched me to weekly appointments so the next week he saw several dark spots in her placenta and informed me that it has began deteriorating and that they have to watch closely so that nothing fatal will come from it.. 
She still isn't doing better with weight so last Wednesday and Thursday they gave me steroid shots to help with her development. Since getting the shots I've been having so much pressure in my vjj, I've been having these anxiety attacks where I can hardly breathe and heart breathing out of my chest, horrible joint pains, and I'll only feel a slight movement from her once a day now for a split second. Where she use to move all day everyday and it was distinct movements.. 
Every week it's something different but they won't take her and honestly it's beginning to frustrate and scare me.. I know it's not the best to kick start you're own labor but I really just want her out already so at least I can know she's okay than being every second of everyday... 
I've heard so many people mention castor oil and I've began to feel a little desperate and thinking about trying it but I'm also terrified because I don't want to cause any harm to her after making it this far. 
Any help would be appreciated... if there's anything I've said that you don't not like just skip over the post, please do not comment with your judgments and rude remarks. It's not needed. Thanks!