All the time, I cannot believe this is my life. I was engaged and going to marry the love of my life. We were going to have kids and live a good life.

Due to my actions, our plans were thrown out the door. We brokeup,and literally the next week I find out im pregnant. Worst timing ever. What would have been an exciting time, turned into a sad and lonely nightmare for me.

The past 4 months we have been off and on. Somedays he loves me,somedays hes mad and cold. But just because I messed up, doesnt mean I deserve the ups and downs every week. Its getting kind of old. Im exhuated and sick of apologizing.

*no cheating, but i lost his trust* very complicated story.

Anyways. Baby is coming in 4 months and i am getting scared that were not gonna workout. We had 2 really good weeks. Very happy, and in love. Then he gets in these moods-now hes being an asshole and saying we should consider not being together,and just co-parent. I cant take this rollercoaster. But i love this man more than anything. It is the hardest thing Ive ever been thru.

I was going to have a great life. Now i am pregnant and going to be raising a baby back at my parents, alone. He will help us, but more or less Ill be alone. I am having a really hard time accepting this is really my life.