my brother passed away in July right before his birthday.

I'm a little emotional tonight after speaking with my grandma. On a Tuesday morning in July, the  19th to be exact I got a message on Facebook telling me my brother was dead. It wasn't real when I got the news. I was 10 hours away trying to hold it together as I was about to call our younger brother who was only 16 at the time. I could tell over the phone that he didn't know how to take it and was just asking if I was serious. I knew he didn't feel it was real, in fact I didn't believe until I called the sheriffs department and they confirmed it. I then called my husband as I broke down screaming and crying. He rushed home from work but oddly I didn't want him there. I just wanted to be alone.. sitting there i remembered text from early in the morning this girl was messaging me  telling me my brother was drunk and he needed to leave her house. I told her to make him go to granny angels house because I knew he would be safe. He didn't have a car at the time so I knew he wouldn't be driving, well I was wrong apparently he had drove my cousins car to this girls house and she made him leave knowing he drove there and he smashed my cousins car into a tree..... after I learned all of this I left a couple hours later and drove to Missouri. I couldn't sleep when I got to my cousins so I drove to where it happened and I was just so shook. I'm so frustrated tonight because my real mom refuses to tell me what was on the autopsy. I'm really hurt and just needed to vent.:/