Addiction? *Trigger warning*

I suffer from ptsd from 20 years of childhood sexual assault including rape and child pornography by my own father. I'm finally pressing charges and needless to say it's a lengthy process and it's bringing up a lot of things that I've buried deep over the years.
Lately I've found myself plagued by nightmares but a combination of Klonopin and Zolof with a shot of vodka guarantee a dreamless sleep. I know this isn't healthy but Im desperate for the escape. I don't even want to contemplate how I'll handle a trial.  I see a psychiatrist this week but I understand now why people turn to alcohol and drugs. That escape is worth every moment of oblivion.