BF 30/m, me 27/f he is passive aggressively wearing me down?

Won't do any of the chores he agrees upon...7 year promise in the making.... now claims it is a control issue and is making our dwelling together extremely uncomfortable. I never felt in control because I took care of my responsibilities I feel like I'm "adulting" when I do though and am happy with executing what we both want. Maybe he feels not in control because I have to ask him to perform his chores? But....am I wrong for feeling uncomfortable when the dishes are 7 days old and the trash has been sitting for so long and is so full I can't throw anything away? Dishes backed up onto my cooktop. How am I supposed to cook his meals?