Postpartum body/husbands actions/venting need some positivity

I use to weigh 141 lbs with only 12% body fat (20% is normal for a healthy women) I was gym junkie working up to become a physique model I had a perfect stomach (in my eyes) my body was amazing my husband also a bodybuilder more than loved my body and then....I became pregnant! We had been trying for 5 years before I started training so it wasn't planned to happen when it did. Now I knew my body was going to change I knew stretch marks were bound to happen and I didn't like that but I was okay with it if it meant I was going to be a mommy. I tried telling my husband my body was going to change he seemed to get it and then our son was born.. I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, my hips, my belly my sides and a few under my boobs. I'm still overjoyed with the fact that I'm a mommy now my husband loves being a father but...the way he looks at me kills me!!! He looks EXTREMELY disgusted...it's devastating to me. Then I found out he had watched porn instead of being with me (I'm cleared for sex) and the porn was fitness girls... Now I know nobody is going to go watch porn of nasty bums off the street but seeing that hurt me even more! I am slowly more and more hating my body and I'm now getting depressed. I guess this was just to vent....I can't figure out how to convince myself I'll get back there I can't get myself to think positive whatsoever :( I don't even wanna cuddle with him with how awful I feel about myself now...help me 💔💔💔💔😭😭😭 posting these photos took a lot of courage....