ahh! just feel alone

So it's our 3rd month ttc and I told my husband I really want to give it out best this month and try to conceive. He agrees aswell. I am in my fertile week and he knows that and is continuing to drink with his friends and not giving up one month or let alone a week to give it his best. I'm so frustrated and hurt that he's not showing his support and excitement as I am. I have read people's stories on here and how it takes them sometimes over a year to conceive. It's scary and very true. Why can't he just give me this month  I asked to really just TRY! This month means so much to be becuase it was the same month I lost my favourite person(grandma) and when I had my abortion many years ago..he knows this. Doesn't mean it will happen but what a great feeIing when this sad month rolls around next year. I have no one to talk about with this.. so I thought I'd just write about it here. 😣