I thought I was past feeling this way

I just had my miracle baby after trying for 5 years.  I finally started charting my first PP cycle and told hubs when to keep his swimmers to himself, he didn't listen, and I got really excited.... just to have my temps plummet after 4 days.... I was so excited about having another baby.  Escpecislly since I knew that I could. But I guess it'll never happen now, we can't afford to pay for childcare for 2.  The sadness I feel is severe,  I feel like I've lost something all over again,  I guess you never forget the pain if infetility.