My SO and I are expecting this September and we both made a decision to move into an apartment together to take care of the baby. When we told his parents they started talking about switching one room around for the baby and and basically planning for me and the baby to move in without really considering whether or not I want to. My parents are both disabled right now, my dad just got heart surgery and my mom has vertigo and arthritis. I don't know how long until my dad will be fully better but I don't want him to work himself too hard in general and my mom can't do everything because it's hard for her. (My sisters do not help me at all and I'm the only one taking care of them.) Anyways, I told my SO that I don't want to move in with his parents. I did one time and I felt like there was no privacy, I was always told when to clean and I like to clean when I feel okay enough to (I deal with occipital neuralgia which is chronic nerve pain in head, neck and face) and his mom would say I don't do anything. There's also no room for my stuff in the house, all closets are filled with their stuff, all the rooms are filled with furniture, the house is small and there's already 4 people living there and it will be 6 including me and the baby. There's no space for me to do yoga in peace at all and I love doing yoga everyday it's my spiritual practice, & the fridge and freezer are always filled with things I cant eat because they eat animal products and I don't. Every time I go to their house I have to stuff the one thing I bring to eat in there and I squish it (that's how bad it is) There's no room for anything I need to bring at all. I also have no choice in how the house looks and what goes where and I like to have a house that looks minimal but his mom hoards everything. Him and I argued last night because he's saying he doesn't have money to rent an apartment and he wants the house when his parents pass so he wants to stay there. His parents are only 60 years old. I don't want them to die soon and I also don't want to wait 30-40 years just to have my own house. I will be 53 by then. I told him we can split the rent but he's still being stubborn and then telling me to "do it on my own then." I feel like I will be extremely depressed. There's also a huge language barrier, I don't want them teaching my child things I don't believe in and they live 30 minutes on the highway away from my parents. I also don't have a car yet and I don't feel comfortbale not being able to see and help my parents. I would rather move in between our parents so we can both see them when we need to. He also has his own car so he can drive there whenever he wants. I don't know what to do. Now I'm considering doing it on my own but I have chronic pain and can't work a full time job.