dumb idea ?

Question

So I no longer speak to my daughters dad because he has not helped me once through my whole pregnancy he hasn't purchased one thing for my daughter or attended a doctors apt so he basically shows no interest in her so I have cut communication with him to keep my happiness , anyway my worst fear is him trying to take my daughter and get any kind of custody so I was thinking of instead of putting him on child support asking him to just sign his rights over to me so I can move on with my life and never have to worry about him again or is this a dumb idea ? Oh and I'm 32 weeks and 4 days

Answer

Contrary to what other people have said, I don't think being the biological father will make some kind of magical relationship possible if the guy is a jerk. I don't think a man has to be abusive for him to just not be in your child's life if you want. The fact that he doesn't seem to care about the baby but you're afraid he might try to take her just to get to you implies he's a BAD guy to me.

Why do you think he might win sole custody over you? Is that a reasonable fear? Can you document things he's done for potential future court proceedings to help ease your fears of this being a possibility?

I think if the peace of mind is worth it over the monetary support then it might be worth it. No guarantee he'll sign though. And ladies, him signing his rights away doesn't mean he can't ever see her necessarily, that's still up to mama. It means he can't sue for custody. And we should trust her judgement. No child needs to be put in harms way just to give some jerk a "chance" to put things right or have a relationship, especially when he hasn't shown that he even wants to. Make him earn that chance. Parenting shouldn't be a right it's a privelige. And it's definitely not up to the child until they get older.

Answer

I'd just take him to court for custody. If he's not interested he won't show up & it's an automatic win

Answer

In my opinion it's a fair option.  Women can choose to keep their baby, give up their rights (adoption), or even to terminate. Men don't get the same options.  I would rather have a man sign over his rights then try to force him to be a father.

Answer

Let her decide to have or not a relationship with her dad. Later on you do not want to be blamed for not allowing this by him or her.

Answer

There is a difference in being neglectful on one side, and being of a dangerous badly influence on the other side. If he is agressive, abusive, on drugs etc, you better keep him far away from your children. If, on the other hand, he is 'not interested' as you say it, then he still is the father, and not dangerous to your child. There are more men not interested in the baby as long as they cannot see and touch her. This can still change. Maybe you don't want any contact, but your daughter might well want to know her father.
This relationship consists of three persons now, so you can try to limit the contact between the other two, but it's their right to claim it. As the mother, you'll always have the greatest amount of custody, unless you have a past of drugs use or criminal record. In that case you should put a great effort in quitting these bad habbits and show the world (and the judge if the father of your daughter takes it to court) that you've changed for the better. If he is the one with a criminal record, he'll have much more difficulties in getting a few days of custody.
I understand you want to close the door of this situation and get on, but the right of the child is to know both parents. She might blame you later that you didn't leave that door open for her.
And maybe your partner still turns around and wants to be a good father AND husband. Isn't that worth more?

Answer

I haven't spoken to my daughters father either he has not helped out once or come to any appointments let alone show any interest in doing so. I'm not even going to put him on her birth certificate I am also scared he will try to take her away from me in the future and by not putting his name on her birth certificate he will have to prove paternity by a DNA test

dumb idea ?

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