i haven't masturbated in months and today i wasn't even really in the mood but i did it anyways and while doing it i felt awful so then stopped. i have a boyfriend and me and him are waiting until marriage and i prayed immediately after about it and i felt disgusting and asked God for forgiveness but i still feel horrible. i'm mad that i let myself do that and i just feel dirty. i don't know what to do, any advice will help and me and my boyfriend have an open relationship and confide and trust each other with everything. i feel awful.