I'm falling apart ..🙁

Today I'm absolutely down!! I'm 9dpo, looking for since.. but nothing, milky CM, sore boobs, mood swings.. like every month.. I don't know if I can do this anymore, we're trying for 7 months now.. I know it's not that much, but I'm going crazy!! My heart falls apart every month, since I'm trying three of my friends concieved!! I can not even be happy anymore for them.. I'm so sad, so frustrated, so angry!! I'm writing this because I don't want to tell my boyfriend anything this month.. I just want to cry!! I would love to give up, but I can not do it, my heart want let me.. I'm falling apart!! Hope you all have a better day than I do..