any advice welcome

Okay this is going to be a little long winded but any advice would be appreciated! Basically Ive been with my partner for 4 years now.  Hes 24 and I'm 22. He had always begged me for a child but I wasn't ready. When I was 18 I fell pregnant (taking anti biotics with the pill) and I was still in college and didn't have a stable job so I knew that I couldn't go through with it. He begged and begged me not to go through with a termination but it was best all round. I always told him I want to at least live with him first but he never said that mattered and that we should do it anyway. He never had a bad word to say. After the termination I deeply regretted it and was full of overwhelming guilt and he still kept saying he wanted a baby! By this point I had graduated and had a stable job so I'm more open to it! Then we got our own house and he stopped talking about it! Meanwhile it's all that's on my mind because of what he kept saying for years! I got diagnosed with PCOS and put myself through hell everyday because it wasn't happening and I blamed myself! We wasn't using protection because I thought we both wanted it. A year later I got my BFP last week and he has said nothing positive at all! He basically keeps telling me that now isn't the right time? Now of all times! My head is in absolute bits and I'm heartbroken! I feel completely alone and stupid! Ive felt so unbelievably down the past few days, completely nor myself and it's like he doesn't even care. He's recently been diagnosed with depression so I don't want to sound selfish but what the hell?! Why talk about it for so long? Why put me through hell because it wasn't happening? Why make me want the same thing just to turn around and do this?