It's been four years, four years of this relationship I have been chasing and hanging onto him even when all he gave me was a thread, it seems pathetic but he's always insisted his love for me, and he would never leave me alone. We've been on and off for four years. He's cheated on me more times then I can even remember, I can't even remember all the times! He has emotionally and verbally abused me the whole relationship, and tested the boundaries with psychical abuse. We were broke up for a year but still slept together, still said we loved each other, just another one of his times to sleep wth whoever he wanted but keep me around. Anyway around Christmas we started getting serious about me moving back into our home, we had all of our kids together and things were amazing. We decided to be careless and try for a baby we've always Wanted, New Year's <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> I found out I was pregnant and life was like a dream, we were working through all of our problems, he was being so kind and loving, everything was perfect. One morning I came home early from work with my extremely sick 9 year old at tow, there was a car in our driveway and the deadbolt was locked which we don't have a key for. I pounded on the door and finally went to the window and he said hang on babe I'm coming... low and behold he had another woman in our home, as if that wasn't enough to make me leave him the next week after that he psychically abused me, he left bruises on my arms, chocked me, slammed me on the ground, he attempted to hit me across the face but I moved, always followed by him crying and apologizing this went on for two weeks the abuse, not just psychical but sever verbal abuse, and emotional abuse. Things just started calming down, I came home yesterday and grabbed his phone and found numerous conversations via Snapchat with other woman, pictures, messages, things that made me want to vomit and still do thinking about, I went into the room and told him I was leaving he begged me to stay and tried to hold me down, I left,  went straight to the nearest apartment complex I knew was leasing and I gave them every single dime I had to my name and signed a lease, I am terrified to be alone and preganet again, all my dreams of the future have changed and I'm so scared, I'm moving today and I've been crying and angry and a bitter mess for over 24hours I have no strength left I'm like a ghost right now watching myself pack..again.. watching myself move... again.. watching myself cry.. again I'm almost dead inside right now, but I feel a glimmer of hopefulness fighting inside of me that is keeping me going..