How Do You Manage The Fear?

Question

I'm 4 weeks today. I lost my last pregnancy at 4w6d. I don't know how to get a handle on this terror that hit this morning. I tested on a cheapie this morning, comparing the line from yesterday's - and panicked because it wasn't darker. My head says I'm being irrational, but I can't help it. I keep expecting to see blood. This sucks.

Answer

The fear never left me until I delivered. It got easier after 12 weeks, peaked again around 20, left till 32, and I was wreck till he was here. It is normal. You'll have good days and bad days. It is OK to cry. It is OK to panic once in awhile. I always looked for blood, second guessed every cramp, and prayed for every kick. Your naive innocence about pregnancy is robbed by miscarriage. When the worst happens then fear of that pain is normal. This verse got me through. I'd recite it whenever my anxiety hit me.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Answer

I had 2 miscarriages immediately before getting pregnant again and in all honesty the fear never goes away. I lost both of them at 7 weeks and I'm now 34 weeks with my baby girl, after losing the 2 and all of the complications that have come along with this pregnancy I know for sure I won't relax until she's safely in my arms. Every time I feel something come out, I check for blood. If my baby doesn't move for a while, I poke her until she gets pissed and kicks back. The one thing I'll say is it gets better when you feel regular movement, but even then get worried if i can't remember the last time I felt her move. I know how much it sucks to not be able to relax and enjoy being pregnant and I wish I could help you feel better but unfortunately all you can do is hope for the best and try your best to relax. Good luck with your rainbow baby mama!!!

Answer

Not trying to scare you at all, this is just my experience. My first mc was at 6 weeks, happened naturally.  The second time I was pregnant I made it all the way to my 12 week ultrasound feeling slight pregnancy symptoms, overall feeling good but still so nervous. I still did pregnancy tests every couple weeks lol, reassurance I guess. Although my second is now ending in a mc as well. The point i guess I'm trying to make is that I never did stop worrying and felt like I couldn't get my hopes up. Every passing week I felt more relieved that I had "made it further" than before. But all you can do is assume everything is fine until something proves otherwise. It's out of your control.

Answer

I had a miscarry and then got pregnant again. In the beginning I was petrified every time I went to the toilet waiting to see blood, every pain seemed worrying.. as you moving with your pregnancy, you will get through it. It's completely normal to be afraid, and you will relax when you see that everything is going well! Try not to stress because it doesn't help! Enjoy your pregnancy!