How do you "Take a Break" from trying?

Question

AF just started today, so I'm starting my 6th cycle TTC now. I had a miscarriage in January at 5 weeks. I went from ambivalent when we started to excited when I found out I was pregnant to devastated a week later. I was frantic to get pregnant again and the myself competition into charting for the next two cycles. I'm now going into my 3rd since the miscarriage and I'm emotionally exhausted. The last few days were hormonal, emotional hell  (I think I have PMDD, it was debilitating bad) and I'm just so frustrated. It's not fun anymore. I'm starting to feel a little ambivalent again about having a baby, probably to protect myself from any more pain. But it's really an addiction at this point, temping and peeing on things and watching the calendar. I'm a bit obsessive as it is, and this whole charting business was kindling when I found out about it. 
Anyway, I'm doing ok today (since my hormones have mellowed out with the arrival of AF), but I'm curious about anyone who has "taken a break." First of all, did you actually use protection during that time, or take a break from charting, or just stop logging things, or just not test? I feel like I know enough about my body now that I could still tell you the day I ovulated and the day my period was coming without devices or a calendar. I feel like I would still frantically plan a romantic night and drag my husband to the bedroom when I noticed my CM change. I would still count days in my head. I would still think about it all the time. Wouldn't I? Wouldn't you? How do you turn your brain off (without drinking yourself stupid every night)?
I'm mesmerized by all these stories of women who took a break and immediately got pregnant. What a dream! Maybe I'm just grabbing desperately for another straw. Really, I think I'm just looking for my sanity back. I almost feel like I've got to be all or nothing: know everything about my fertility or get another iud put in. I'm 32, I don't feel like I can dick around a lot longer before I'm really having trouble (and yes, I know 6 months isn't that long but throw in a miscarriage and time starts going backwards).
Help me, I've clearly lost my marbles, lol. I'd love to hear any advice if you've successfully taken your brain down from volume 11. And please no heartless "calm down" comments, as I'm liable to burst into tears, lol.

Answer

I feel you. I tried forgetting about it but look at me now, searching for new information and confirmation on this app once again. 
I am not ovulating often and because of a long distance relationship not even physically with my SO often. Thought i was forgetting about it for a while but once i felt i was probably ovulating that one week we were togethet it didnt leave my mind again. Now in TWW and it is killing me. So please, if you find the answer on how to deal with this, please share.
Good luck and i hope you get your bfp soon as a surprise (without all the stress and waiting).

Answer

I've been ttc for 20 months now (with 2 losses). The first 6 months I didn't use opks because I thought it would just happen (dumb, I know). The only times I have gotten pregnant were when I tried the hardest. I didn't eat any processed foods, cut out all caffine and used preseed as well as supplements. If you think you would still obsess if you "stopped trying," then don't stop. Just do more research. Try to figure out what your body might need. But it's a good sign that you've already gotten pregnant in 6 months! I'm sure it will happen in no time. :)

Answer

I never got overwhelmed with my charting while TTC. If you want to take a break I would stop charting your temp and stop the ovulation tests. Don't buy any pregnancy tests until you are late. Have those few drinks and just enjoy your SO! Most of the time women get so caught up in TTC that they throw their cycles off from stress. Don't use any protection though. You never know how letting go will do! Good luck and baby dust your way! Just relax and take one day at a time.

Answer

You have some great advice here. Don't get hung up on your age. 32 is  still younger than a lot of people who have been trying for years. You have plenty of time. I am 37 and the doctor told me I was being silly focussing on my age as women in their 40s get pregnant all the time these days. I also found out in my research that most articles and comments about women's declining fertility are based on very old records. Of course women in the late 1800s weren't having babies in mid thirties. Their life expectancy was much lower. I know it's hard but do try to relax. Maybe yoga? I have the same obsession and am just trying to distract myself more and do more things that I normally wouldn't.

Answer

I felt exactly the same way - I had been tracking for so long after our miscarriage that I knew when I was ovulating. Everyone kept telling me to "stop trying" and I just thought that was stupid. I got SOOO fed up with all the logging and negative tests for nothing that one month I stopped. I didn't look at my app, I didn't log anything, didn't take OPK. I still knew when my fertile week was so we tried to make sure we hadsex  during that time. We actually had a weekend trip planned with friends that weekend so it helped keep my mind off it - sort of lol. And that is the month we got pregnant. I honestly don't believe that "stopping trying" did the trick, maybe a tiny bit less stressed but I think it was just coincidence mostly. It did feel good to take a little break from logging and everything though.

Answer

Update: I stopped temping until my CM changed and decided that I'll just take temp until I see the change. Then I'm going to stop and just try not to think about it. I already feel better, not nearly as obsessive, but still feel like I'm getting the info I need. I don't feel like I'm missing anything critical when I skip temping on days that really don't matter. And I think I'm also just finally getting used to all this waiting. I did sign up for hot yoga and a 5k, which I'll do regardless of whether or not I get pregnant. Thank you everyone for your encouragement and advice. It was really tough there for a while. Xx

Answer

I'm also 32, was ambivalent when we started "trying" in November. I got pregnant right away and was still ambivalent but got excited when we told our families for Christmas. I also had a miscarriage in late January with a D&C. I let my husband convince me to start trying again as soon as my period came back (mostly because I wanted to be convinced). I'm not even through my first cycle but the stress of temping and ovulation kits and minor spotting has my one such edge. I waffle between wanting to prove we can get pregnant again ASAP for not specific but very sick reason, and hoping I'm not pregnant because I'm terrrifed of all this happening again.

I'm also a bit obsessive and know even if I tried to take a break I couldn't. My body is pretty regular. Even after a d&c I got right back on my 30-day schedule. I'd just know when it was coming.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you but your story sounds so close to where I'm headed. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Sending you hugs.

How do you "Take a Break" from trying?

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