I am 12 DPO and I got another BFN on a first response pregnancy test. I thought this was it, after a year and a half of trying, and one miscarriage in August. I've been feeling twinges since 9dpo, heartburn, etc. Up to now I've stayed positive. I haven't really felt the sadness that goes along with infertility but it's so hard for month after month to pass, and you're convinced that this will finally be it, this will be the time you FINALLY get your BFP😥 and month after month, it isn't. The past few nights I've had dreams of babies. I had a dream on the night of my due date (March 2nd) that I had a baby and the dreams make me so sad when I wake up and realize it's so far out of reach, that it's not real. And honestly I just want to hold a baby in my arms, I don't even care if it's mine, I'm just in desperate need for some baby time 😢 I can tell how much it's hurting my husband too. He deserves a baby, he would be such an excellent father. And I can't give a child to him. I feel like I can't even do the one thing women are supposed to be able to do, because I have PCOS. I can't even do what my body was designed to do. When will it be my turn?