Ok this is a long post- me and my husband got married in 2014 we tried so hard for a baby and finally got pregnant a year later. He hasn't been the best provider even before and I put all my hope in him when I became pregnant hoping that he would step up. Well once I had to go on maternity leave (I worked up until the day before I had her) we ended up losing our house because he couldn't keep up with the bills and ended up moving in with his mom. Once I went back to work( only taking 2 weeks off ) we got a house. Our problem is that we fight, like physical fights I don't consider him abusive because most of the time he's defending himself from me (I know I know I'm in counseling) but our last fight may of 2016 got really bad as I'm trying to diffuse the situation he goes off chokes me with our daughter in his arms, pushes me etc. so I tell him to get out. He packs his stuff and leaves. Feeling scared I ask my best friend (who is a guy) to come stay the night at the house. There was no extra involved he came, slept on the couch and hubby walks in and loses his shit and they get into a fist fight. So hubby accuses me of cheating and we go our separate ways. Well a couple months later I get a message on fb from a female asking me if me and hubby are still together and letting me know that she has been sleeping with him. He says he's justified because I had another man in his house. Fast forward cuz I know I'm dragging on we have been trying to work things out. Over the summer he left me homeless, took all the money out of our acct which I had been saving and the only one making deposits to help me and the kids find a house, he pretty much left me stranded Because he feels like I betrayed him. Only requirement I had was that he find a better job and learn how to provide for his family the same way I do. It's almost been a year and he's still home with his mom, no money saved, he just now got a decent job. But I've already got me and the kids a house and I'm doing pretty well on my own. He's been with multiple women and I've only been with one guy during our separation (almost a year) but he can't get over the fact that I cheated on him (didn't cheat best friend was there) and it's making it hard for him to forgive and trust me. I guess I'm writing this to vent but also get feedback. As bad as I want my family I just hate that he's full of excuses. We have had the same amount of time to get things together and I've flourished while he's still comfy on his moms couch I guess I'm asking what would you guys do in this situation? I love him but if he can't provide his basic needs for himself how can I trust him to provide for us if his actions don't show me any different he has a job now and wants to come home but that's his pattern he will have a job for a little bit then get home n get comfy that I'm going to come thru when he can't. Any advice?