This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through... some days it doesn't even feel real. Today at the doctor talking about my miscarriage just felt like a dream. My husband wants to start trying again as soon as we can. I told him we can try but I don't want to use opk's this time, I just want to let it happen when it's meant to happen. He got upset by this and said basically that if God didn't want us to know when we ovulate he wouldn't give us opk's so we should use them... to me the whole TWW and just the whole process is so stressful. Especially when after a year of wanting to get pregnant I finally was!!! Only to have it ripped away from me... I was so excited to be pregnant again (baby #2) and it just feels so devastating when you had a whole future envisioned and then, poof it just disappears... I know we can try again and I know I will be pregnant again one day but next time I get pregnant I'm going to be terrified those first few weeks wondering if it will end like this pregnancy did. It's hard to be excited and optimistic for something when you've experienced how it feels to lose that feeling in a blink of an eye.