I have had this on my mind for a bit, but having seen what I saw tonight I literally have a golf ball in my throat...

Let's start off, so I recently lent my mom my car with some little rules I asked her to respect. I asked her not to bring a person that intentionally hurt me into my car, and that i didn't want nothing to do with them. I just don't feel comfortable with someone who doesn't like me in a car or using anything of mine that I paid for.

This person is my brothers girlfriend of like 4 months and she lives with my mom cause she has no where's else to go. Long story short, me and the girl where getting to know eachother and I liked her, she seemed knowledgeable and a good person for my brother. One day I heard from some of my friends that she was talking negatively about me to one of my high school friends (they both worked together and somehow I ended up as the top of conversation) what she said about me totally hurt and was uncalled for. I didn't address her about it but I asked my brother too and I guess he did but never heard much about it after. I let it go.

Ever since after that incident when I go to my moms, she doesn't say hi or even acknowledge that I'm there. I tell my mother that I feel uncomfortable coming over most of the times because of this and my mom literally just says I'm always complaining or making a problem over nothing. I leave it alone. 

One day my mom asks me to drive her and my brothers girlfriend somewheres and I said sure. No hi from the girlfriend, and after I was dropped them home, she got out my car slammed my door and took off without saying thank you or bye.

I had enough now. I told my mom the next day that I didn't want nothing to do with her because she doesn't seem to like me much and I prefer to be civil but also keep my distance.

So when I asked my mom to respect my wishes and not bring her in my car for personal use, she said okay and that she understands. 

I found out that my mom brought her in my car and I asked my mom why? She told me to "fuck off, and that she doesn't need to be in none of my shit"

I asked my mom to bring back my car the same night for such blunt disrespect. 

I explained to my mom how she and everyone made me feel, I feel unwanted, unloved, and uncomfortable with the situation. 

My mother makes me feel like I'm the stranger and my brothers girlfriend is the daughter. I barely get invited anywheres, I'm only wanted when my family needs money or a ride.. I feel like this most of the time.

One day my sister said something rude to me and it made me run out her house crying

My other sister messaged me on my nieces birthday asking to borrow 60 dollars as she wanted to take her daughter out, later that day I found out she threw my niece a party. Me or my boyfriend weren't invited. I asked my sister why weren't we notified and that we would of loved to be there and she said because my brothers girlfriend was there. I cussed my sister as I am an aldult, my niece means more than any pettiness. I just think I should have got the right to have an option to go or not.

Anyways, I go on instragram tonight and I see that all of my sisters and my mother blocked me... my youngest sister is 15 and I have never had a problem with her so it seems like she was influenced.

I'm sad and I did cry a bit but I have so much going on... my daughters birthday is coming up and she was still born at 36 weeks... I was going through PTSD after giving birth, but recently got professional help. 

I feel like I can't even cry anymore and just wish my family understood how difficult it is for me to live without my child. I try to be around them but they just make me uncomfortable...

Am I wrong for just wanting to part ways with my family for a bit? 

*i did confront them, the blocking happened after I confronted them and explained how I felt.