was it rape?

Question

So a few weekends ago a friend was driving us home from the club. I told him in the car that I didn't want to hook up even though we had in the past but he still wanted to walk me inside. He said he wanted to wait with me until my roommate got home too (she was coming back about an hour after us). I was tired and drunk so I just told him to sit in a chair by my desk by I was going to sleep. I woke up (I don't know how much later) naked with him having sex with me. It startled me and I kind of freaked out and asked if he was wearing a condom. When he said no I got up and gave him one then just laid there while he finished then he left.

I'm just really confused about how to classify and processing this experience...because I didn't undress myself, I didn't start anything but after he started and I woke up I just let him finish...

I feel gross and ashamed and embarrassed and I don't know what to do about it. How would you classify and cope with this experience?

Answer

I would consider that rape. You had told him no, that you didn't want to hook up. Then, while you passed out drunk, he took your clothes off, and started to have sex with you, without you knowing! That's rape. You giving him a condom, I wouldn't consider than consent. That's you taking precautions for your own health.

I think you need better friends...

Answer

That is DEFINATLY rape, he had sex with you when you were not conscious, you were asleep. He invaded your body and at that moment you were not able to consent to it (again because you were ASLEEP)  He knew you didn't want to have sex as you told him previously that you weren't looking to hook up. So yes, that is rape x

Answer

I would consider that rape. You were still drunk when you handed him a condom, and your sleepy drunk brain was confused and just knew you should be safe.

Answer

ALRIGHT LETS BE CLEAR
Just because you giving him a condom implies it doesn't mean you wanted it. You wanted to be safe, you were drunk and unable to make a clear decision. Just because it implies "carry on" doesn't mean jack shit. She never said "continue" she was not in the mental state to do so. I am so sorry that this happened to you, this is not okay whatsoever.
Stay strong 
Xoxo

Answer

Thanks girls for being a sounding board that helped me feel heard and in a protected. My school offers free therapy and I'm going tomorrow for the first time.

Answer

God bless you beautiful, and if you didn't consent. It's rape. Bc even tho you gave him a condom just means you were trying to protect yourself. He probably would've kept going either way, so better to be safe. Get help and stay strong 💕

Answer

It's considered rape if you say no the first time!!! They thought me that in school

Answer

Yes I would say that's rape because he took advantage of you. You told him you didn't want to hook up. That's wrong.

Answer

Yes, I believe this was rape, you explicitly said no. You didn't want to and it's illegal because having sexual relations with someone while they are incapacitated is against the law .. (sleeping or passed out) I also believe you shouldnt have given him a condom or let him finish but what's done is done. Now you have to decide if you want to go to the authorities or not.

Answer

this IS rape. you were unconscious. you need to talk to the police asap

was it rape?

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