lost it

Well I haven't talked about this I kinda let it sink in the back of my head....
The closer I get to my due date the more I try not to remember 
December 28th I lost one of my twins 
Til this day I wanna know if it was the girl I really been praying for Was there anything i can do so save the baby
I recked my head around this for many months 
I'm not over it idk if Ima ever gonna be over it 
😪😪😪😪
How do you get over your heart being ripped out!!
We found out we having a boy but I still gotta wonder!!!
I'm sorry this post is all over the place I just wanted to share this hoping to bring me some type of peace😞