Trouble in Relationship Paradise. Any suggestions? 😔🙁

I don't normally post private relationship stuff but tonight will just have to be the exception. My boyfriend came home after two days with his mom. He was upset and kept saying she's mentally ill and not doing well. On the one hand he was asking for support but at the same time he kept putting me down saying in the two years we've been together I've never shown him love or support. He said I was self-obsessed and a horrible human and girlfriend. The comments got more hurtful ending in him saying I don't ever deserve to have a family, a dog or anyone to love me because I'm trash. This last comment was so hurtful because I just had a miscarraige and we have been unsuccessful in conceiving since. Needless to say, we got in a huge fight. It's tough because I feel like he's not allowing me to be supportive of his situation and love on him as he's being absolutely nasty towards me. Naturally I want to distance myself from him and his comments but the more I distance myself the more I seem to set myself for being told what a horrible girlfriend I am for not supporting him. I feel like I can't win here. And he's justifying his harsh words by saying he's super sad about his mom. Any advice? I care about him and want to be supportive but I can't take these comments!  He's a lovely guy and I love him but when he's upset his words are flying daggers - goes into firing mode with very personal/hurtful jabs meant to put me down and illustrate how inadequate he feels I am. I'm really questioning this relationship. He says he loves me and I'm the love of his life but there seems to be a lot of contradictions here. 😔 Sorry for the essay sistas! ❤️