But the thing is culturally, it's almost like a must for me to have kids. Like my mum will be absolutely devastated if I didn't have kids. I'm 27, work full time, have my own house and yes I'm still scared of my mum.  We've been ttc for just over 2 years now and I can't help but think I'm only doing it for my mum. My husband and I love our lives, we can do whatever we want etc. We both have a long journey to work each day and we are pretty tired all the time now. Plus we are both very career orientated and I know I can get soo far in my job.  

Sometimes when I think about the idea, I think it's nice to have kids, but a part of me thinks I'm only doing it to please my mum and my mother in law. I've got a gynocologist appointment next month and I dunno if I even want to go to it. Deep down, I don't think my husband wants kids either. I don't know whether I'm being selfish or whether I'm doing it to please our parents. I'm so torn, am I being selfish?