how are you and your partner doing mentally?

Question

Our little one is the light of our lives, however me and my partner have been having a lot of struggles. Our baby is 3.5 months. Anyone else still having mood swings, feeling sad often, and fighting a lot with partner? How are you coping?

Answer

I have three little boys. The adjustment from zero kids to one child was the absolute most difficult transition. By the time baby gets about 4 months, I make the mental transition to put my marriage top priority again. That means intimacy, laughter, and making us a priority. It gets better. Put you guys first

Answer

Totally happened with my man & I. We made the time to have family date nights once a month & devoted Saturday nights at home to each other. No matter how tired or how long of a day we have had Saturday nights are our time to reconnect. Its really helped & it gives me something to look forward to every week!

Answer

Kayla, thx for posting this topic. I was feeling alone in the struggle. 
My husband & I have been together for 12 years. When I met him I was a single mom with a 2 year old son. We just had a son 8 months ago & our marriage is suffering. Sometimes I forget I may still be hormonally affected (EBF)..

Answer

And baby makes three is a hard transitional period for a lit of couples. Try not to be overbearing (not saying you are, but from his side he might think so) and just talk. If the kettle begins to boil, shut the stove off- metaphorically speaking. Just say "I love you, I need a minute." and just stop to breathe and clear your mind. I do this after 9 years in my relationship and for us it works. He will walk away or I will. Of course say something otherwise it comes across as rude and turns the heat up and nobody wants that. Key phrase "I love you, I need a moment." Try giving him his space as well. He might be having his own inner struggle and he needs to adjust to fatherhood. Us moms are just slung into it and we have all but no choice to take care of a tiny human, but some guys have a problem with it. Not saying that it's a bad problem, it's an adjustment problem. Their world just got tossed upside down literally over night. You had months to prepare yourself. My husband- talking bout my personal life lol- is a great husband and father, but he has preternatural problems (yes preternatural as in pregnancy). He has always been like this. Once the pregnancy is over he starts getting back to his regular self and I take care of baby solely. His way of helping is throwing the diapers away, picking out clothes, bare minimum stuff and there's nothing wrong with that. When baby gets closer to a year he feels the need to bond and he has a great relationship with our 11 month old daughter now. You just need to find your own way, get the groove on and just talk to your husband. I hope this helps.

Answer

My son is 7 months and lately my husband and I have been having the same problems you're describing. We're more of just partners and helpmates than we are lovers and husband and wife. It's partly because of the baby and partly because of my husband's new job. By the end of the day he's too tired to spend time alone with me after the baby is finally asleep. We've only had sex about 4 times in the last 3 months which would have been so unusual before. I'm confident we'll get back to how we were before, and you guys will too, it just might take a little while.

Answer

Oh my! Only 1 month in here and dying. Moody, annoyed, frustrated. We just don't fight because I don't see a point in it. Breastfeeding has already proven to be a one person job [mom! Ugh].

Answer

My son is 7.5m and only now after stopping breastfeeding and switching to formula is everything evening out between my boyfriend and I. We fought constantly, I was moody he was always tired from work. But one day it seemed like the switch flipped and I didn't hate him as much lol. It's hard but it gets better. I think the breastfeeding so long made my hormones crazy and lack of sleep since my son refused a bottle up until a month ago.

Answer

Struggling. Our lg is only 10wks old, but I feel like I cry more than she does. We had to hav a lot of treatment to hold onto her (intralipids, steroids etc), so that put added financial strain onto us both so we are fighting more. I feel guilty for feeling sad because we tried so hard for 7yrs for our little rainbow baby and now shes here I feel I dont have any right to ever be sad. Being a mommy is the hardest thing Ive ever done, and Ive overcome, rape, stalking, paternal mental & physical abuse, depression and several miscarriages

Answer

Struggling.... honestly just feeling like myself at 6 months.breastfeeding put on a lot of stress and strain on us.

Answer

My husband literally said the other night "thisbis the most we've fought ever... I don't like it" I said "me either were tire and get annoyed but we'll get threw it"
Even when we fight one of us says "I love you" and it all goes away. Whatever the fight is it isn't stronger then our love for each other and our family.

how are you and your partner doing mentally?

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