Pregnant Again, but I'm not feeling Happy or Excited....

Hi Ladies, 
After a year of trying I was blessed with my son, he's turning a year old in April. I just found out that I'm 5 weeks pregnant, exciting right?!? Will for me it's filled with mixed emotions. I want to be happy and thrilled but I'm feeling embarrassed and disgusted with this pregnancy. I wanted to have another baby after my son was 2 years old so I can spend the most time with him and it would be financially smart. Now with baby number 2 coming this December, I'm confused on how will I handle life with two kids as a stay at home mom. I'm feeling embarrassed as I fear of being judged that I didn't wait and disgusted with myself bc I guess me horomones are making me feel this way. I want to be happy with this pregnancy but no matter how much I try I can't feel obtain it. I feel like my son will get the worse end of this and knowing that my world (my son) will be neglected. Any advice is helpful