maternal instinct or just worry?

Question

How do you differentiate between your maternal instinct and just normal worry? I'm 15 weeks pregnant with baby #3, after miscarrying back in October. As soon as I got pregnant this time around I was obviously worried after suffering the miscarriage, but I also kinda felt detached from this pregnancy, almost afraid to buy things or imagine what like would be like when we bring this baby home, and I'm not sure if it's just because I'm afraid to get too attached for fear something will happen and it's unwarranted, or if I truly know deep down that something is going to go wrong.

So far, I've already had a cerclage placed due to incompetent cervix, so that eased my mind, but on Friday we found out we may have an issue with the umbilical cord attaching properly to the placenta. It's too soon to know if there will be problems but I feel like maybe my fears are coming true. With both of my full term healthy pregnancies before this I don't remember ever feeling this way.

Does anyone else struggle with this? I'm starting to get really down about this pregnancy, and I'm finding it hard to plan for the future because I'm afraid we will start to prepare and then something terrible will happen. I feel like at 15 weeks I should feel secure that this pregnancy is meant to be and I just don't.

Answer

I'm in the exact same boat. I had my second miscarriage last October, first one in June. My anxiety is thru the roof especially because I have had zero symptoms this entire pregnancy. I know a lot of women would be so happy but I would rather be sick and have some sort of reassurance this baby is actually happening then nothing! I have been going in for heart tones every one or two weeks just to make sure I'm still progressing. I feel so emotionally detached from this pregnancy because of the fear of losing it again. I'm worried buying things will "jinx" things and I'm also somewhat resentful that I can't have a "normal", carefree pregnancy like so many others. I definitely feel where you are coming from. I don't think I will feel completely ok until I give birth.

Answer

I felt this way while pregnant with my last child, but for different issues. I had a miscarriage before her, right at 12 weeks. It was several years before I got pregnant again. However, after becoming pregnant again I bled on and off for the first 16 weeks, sometimes almost period-like. I could not get excited, and it was a very depressing time not knowing which way it would go. I wouldn't talk about the pregnancy in certain terms, but would only say, "If we have this baby." All I could do is wait it out. There were times I felt my instincts were telling me there was no way the pregnancy was going to last. The only reassuring thing was the heartbeat at every visit. Now I have a beautiful perfect two year old! Nothing is worse than knowing that something could be wrong with your baby, and as mothers I think it makes us worry so much it could feel like something is instinctually wrong. Just my thoughts based on my experience.  I will be hoping everything turns out ok!

Answer

Once u have had a miscarriage that worry is always in your head i miscarried my first child i knew i would miscarry so it could be both but you are protecting your feelings and you know what could happen

maternal instinct or just worry?

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