Did your hospital help you feel prepared mentally/emotionally and physically for postpartum challenges/injuries?

Question

I'm a FTM and I went to the "best" hospital in the city. I expected much more in terms of helping me be prepared mentally for postpartum but I feel they are only concerned about my child and PP depression... I have suffered many injuries and while the physical pain is terrible, the mental agony is worse. I wonder why I wasn't given information, classes or conversations regarding possible injuries and HOW TO PREVENT THEM as well as HOW TO HEAL.   Because of this I spent the first six weeks in total agony ignoring my body's pain because I just thought it was normal. I feel angry and disappointed.

Answer

No, my hospital did not prepare me. I've had three kids. I had a pain med free vaginal birth with my first that ended in a 2nd degree tear and episiotomy. It never occurred to me to be angry at the hospital for not being prepared for that. I spent 9 months preparing myself for childbirth and reading everything I could so I knew it was possible. I didn't blame the hospital at all.

I think if you could argue anything it's that your Dr didn't prepare you. Since you see them so often and they are in charge of your care, the dr could have better prepared you. Did you think to ask the dr what to expect postpartum?!

At some point we need to be responsible for our own education, asking our Drs questions during our many dr appts, reading what's needed, and educating yourself. I do not think this is my hospitals responsibility. I don't blame the hospital for my pain.

I've gone on to have two other children. My second an unexpected C when my sons heart stopped. Healing from a C is more pain than my vaginal birth ever was, no drugs and tearing and all. I don't blame the hospital for this. I wanted my son and I safe and healthy. Surgery is always a possibility. He could have died without it.

Answer

I think it's hard for hospitals to prepare you because every birth and every recovery is SO different. I had a terrible midwife who told me nothing at all and couldn't tell the difference between a shoulder and a Bum! Haha! I ended up in a c-section and nobody I know has had one so that was difficult but you should always trust your own instincts. Good luck to you.

Answer

I get where you're coming from.  I also feel that overall everyone is consumed by the baby's welfare that they ignore the mother. I took every single class at my hospital; one was "preparing for and after childbirth." At the beginning of the class we were all asked to voice our biggest concerns and many women said they'd like to know more about how they and their SOs can care for their postpartum issues. Well, the class was broken into 4 classes of two hours each and the teacher, although she was absolutely wonderful, barely touched on our postpartum welfare. 
     My point is, and I believe this is what the OP is getting at, is that yes we can do the research ourselves and obtain information but the mental and emotional preparation of the painful transition of our changing bodies is not something that many can get from googling. That kind of preparation comes from discussion with knowledgeable people like doctors, class teachers, etc. 
      I was told to stop reading and googling so much by my friends family and doctor. That I should get good information from a proper source in a controlled manner. Maybe that is what OP was doing. It makes me sad that some women here are telling her that she is to blame for the lack of mental and emotional preparation.

Answer

Now that you've questioned this is made me think honestly no they didn't..

I had a natural birth but with no tears, but I may as well have because the past week my vagina fucking burns every move I make. Weeing is absolutely agony and makes me cry,  the hospital gave me a pack of regular pain killers to discharge me with.

I didn't realise I lost so much blood until I read my notes and there was apparently talk of a transfusion to get my iron back up.

I spent the first few days feeling extremely dizzy and faint and didn't know why.  My aunt who's a SPINAL nurse was the one to point out what I need to do.

The gist of it is yeah I do feel a little abandoned and kind of like I was left to make my own way without any advice.

It wasn't until my midwife visited me the day after that they told me what I needed to do if my baby got breathless or his lips went blue or he went limp.

No one can prepare you for stepping into the outside world after the close surveillance of the hospital.

Answer

This was my biggest problem with my hospital. They spent forever discussing labor (which I barely experienced) and didn't cover injuries, need for vacuum/forceps (which I had), or recovery AT ALL. Both my SO and I were in shock the entire time we were there and when we came home because we were in no way prepared for anything that happened. I know my experience is rare but man I wish at least the tear part had been addressed, I suffered a lot at home because of that.

Answer

My midwife only cared about my urine tests/doppler etc and fobbed off any questions to do with the birth with a 'they'll go through all that with you at the hospital'. When we got to the hospital they were concerned by how much we hadn't been explained beforehand and said these things should've been discussed/decided and prepared before.
We Googled anything we knew about but there were things we didn't even know to research.

Answer

My dr was the one who prepared me for all possible scenarios. I am one of those people who ask a million questions, and want to know everything that could go wrong. The nurses that cared for me after having my baby were quick to tell me to keep on top of my pain meds, and how to care for my csection scar, how to reduce the risk of tearing it, and lots of advice for breastfeeding. I also asked a lot of questions at the hospital too. When I was home I would call my Ob if I had something going on that was concerning to me.

Answer

I'm shocked more hospitals don't prepare you. My hospital was very good about caring for myself. Although there were classes they went over directions in detail if I had any questions I called and they reviewed any concerns with me.

Answer

They were very clear to have someone else take care of baby while I healed and I should focus on me and nursing and not do anything.  Childbirth is trauma to the body. I'd think it's also intuitive to not do anything for a week, have dad or caregiver care for baby as much as possible as you rest to heal.

Did your hospital help you feel prepared mentally/emotionally and physically for postpartum challenges/injuries?

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