I am currently at 5wks + 1. Two days ago I noticed a little brown spotting. I spotted a little more yesterday, and it has increased even more today. Now every time I wipe I notice brown blood. I also noticed a few tiny brown clots. 😰 My tummy felt crummy this morning and I just feel weak. 

If it's increasing, I don't know how I will bounce back. 😞 Every time I tell myself that it's probably nothing, I go to the bathroom and see that it's worse. This is my first pregnancy so I'm kind of an emotional wreck right now, like I'm just waiting for red to appear. I feel foolish for feeling so upset, like I'm not far enough along to deserve to feel as sad as I am. That I should be grateful that if I do miscarry, that at least it's now and not later.

I feel stupid for allowing myself to feel so confident and excited when we found out... I feel crushed and overly emotional. Also, this is the busiest and most stressful week of the year at work. if i miscarry, there's no taking time off. I will just have to suck it up and endure, because a hundred people will be watching my performance. 

Sorry for the long post. I'm just venting since there's no one to talk to about this. Pray that I can emotionally survive this week. And pray for my little one please and that it's not too late. 😞🙏

Thanks for listening. 

*update: so by the end of the week my spotting was still brown but getting heavier. On Good Friday I had the worst day ever. Bad cramps, low abdominal pain, back pain, felt weak... I was ready for the worst. I got home and just prayed and prayed and gave the baby to God's hands. The next day my spotting was significantly less. By Easter my spotting was gone! I won't know if everything is ok for 2 weeks until my next ultrasound but since Easter the morning sickness has hit me hard and has been constant to this day. And my breasts have gotten noticeably larger and sore. I'm hoping that morning sickness is a good sign! 🙏 thank you ladies for the comments and encouragement. You all really helped me! To any Christians out there, Romans 8:11 also was an encouraging verse for me. I don't know what the future holds, but I have to choose to trust God no matter what. ❤️ thank you