venting

I feel like cramp like I'm a fat ugly person . Nothing fits me I only lost 16lbs and I'm 10weeks postpartum I'm
Not losing any weight I'm exclusively breast feeding and I am watching what I'm eating and counting calories and eating healthy I try to excessive but honestly it's cold outside and I can't risk my baby getting sick plus I'm running around my 2 year old all day . I feel like nothing I do is working . I love my kids so much and they are worth it but I do miss my old self . I hate going out cuz once I get up to get ready I get so depressed cuz nothing fits and I'm back to my yoga pants and a hoodie . My husband is out of states for his business if he was here i would sign up for the gym . (I don't trust anyone watching my kids) and I can't afford a treadmill at this point :( . How do you ladies deal with this ? Oh I forgot to mention my all time weight is 110-115 before delivery I was 156 and now 10 months PP I'm 141. Drained with no energy and no sleep.! I Never was this big before (lots of stretch marks) 😫😫 someone give me Advice please😢😢