Help. Am I being insane or no? Husband in wedding five days after my scheduled c-section?

Question

My husband's stepbrother is getting married April 29th. Our daughter is being born via scheduled c-section at 39 weeks on April 24th. His stepbrother is getting married to my ex-best-friend. She, as well as my husband's stepbrother, were in our wedding. We paid for everything, including dress and tux for them and all our other wedding party. Well, my husband's stepbrother has known for however long that he's getting married April 29th, yet NEVER asked my husband to be in the wedding. He just assumed. He finally asked my husband yesterday and my husband told him yes without even asking me first! He was like "oh yeah ____ asked if I'd be in his wedding and I said yeah." And I'm like "when is it?!" My husband hadn't even asked when it was! He just agreed! And it's 5 days after I'm getting cut open and our daughter is being born! I'm like "is he paying for your tux?" And he asked his stepbrother and he's like "no dude you'll have to pay for your own, it's $200 and you'll have to get fitted this week." WE DON'T HAVE $200 FOR A TUX. My husband is still agreeing to be in it, and I'm not even invited to the wedding! And even if I were, it's FIVE days after our baby is coming by c-section! We need to be spending time with our daughter! I need help after my surgery! So now idk what to do. He's just agreed to be in it and idk how to pay for a tux and it's so close to our scheduled c-section. I'm just so frustrated. My husband is just like "well I'll figure out a way to pay for it." But he and I are both in a wedding in august because they asked us both ahead of time and we have to pay for that. Idk what to do or say. Am I being insane, or no?

Answer

First of all you weren't invited so ur husband shouldn't be going in my opinion. People will say oh but it's his family--NO u are also his family and it's down right disrespectful, plus it's all so last minute they obviusoly hadn't included ur husband in their plans, plus with a new baby ur husband should be with his family-- it might make me unpopular but it's only my opinion on it

Answer

Gosh I'm so sorry! That's awful. It sounded bad until you mentioned that you're not invited to the wedding!!!! Then it went from bad to WHAT THE HECK?! 
My husband wouldn't even go to a wedding if I wasn't invited. How can you not be invited?!? He's your husbands stepbrother! It goes without saying! 
Your husband should be sticking up for you. And five days after a c-section? 
I mean it's his stepbrother, so I understand if this were a normal scenario (i.e. Planned ahead that your hubby would be in the wedding, agreed on who's paying for what, come to terms with having a newborn and a surgery, you were invited etc) but this sounds ridiculous. 
I think your hubby should graciously decline and then give his stepbrother a mouthful about how he should invite his wife to his freaking wedding!! 
Sorry, rant over. Wow.

Answer

Yeah I'd have a pretty big problem with that, esp the no invite ... stepbrother sounds super flaky and thoughtless ... your husband is in a bad position though because it's family…

Answer

Sorry but there's no way he should go to a wedding you're not invited to because it's your ex friend. Who cares if it's his stepbrother. You're his wife and that's his daughter. You're gonna feel rough 5 days after a c section and you're gonna need his help. It's stupid of him to have agreed without even telling you his brother (finally) asked. Not to mention the expense of the tux. There's more important things than him being in the wedding 5 days after you give birth to his child.

Answer

So much wrong here! First, you weren't invited to the wedding. Second, your husband agreed to go even though you weren't invited. Third, your husband didn't think "Oh, we have a baby on the way and my wife is going to have surgery, so I should check on the date" (I understand these things sometimes fly right over guys heads). And I could go on! I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Please have a serious talk with your husband and emphasize that you NEED him to help you after surgery and to bond as a new family. He should be on your side. Good luck!

Answer

Sucky timing! If you can find a way for him to go for a few hours I'm sure it will be meaningful for him to be there for his brother, be in the pictures, have the memory together, etc. It is pretty insensitive of your relatives and they will probably come to realize that down the line. No one is their best self during wedding planning for sure! Congrats on your little one. 😊

Answer

Well on one hand it's family, and most weddings you pay for your own clothing. I've never been in a wedding (I've been in close to 10) and had the bride pay for my dress and shoes or whatever.

On the other hand, you are having a child and he needs to respect that.

Answer

Men r so irrational at times. But please just try to figure out a way so you dont upset yourself further.

Answer

Me and my husband have pulled out of his sisters wedding that's not until July because it'd be $350 to dress us plus travel and hotel and no one I would trust to care for my then 3 month old while we're in the wedding. I can't imagine why he would agree to be in a wedding 5 days after and with a random $200 expense. I understand it's family but I think it's way to late of a notice and even though you couldn't really go anyways, you weren't invited, which I see as a big issue. He should have talked to you before agreeing, but at this point try to work it out with him explain what you're thinking/ feeling and hope he sees reason, if not just try and let it go no point in fighting when you're about to welcome your baby.

Help. Am I being insane or no? Husband in wedding five days after my scheduled c-section?

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